OK, here we go. Everything before this was just a warm-up. TV is back in season and it's time to get your hunting license.
I'm totally sitting here watching the E! special on fall TV shows and honestly, it has just annoyed me into writing my own preview of the season. Apparently, a "much contested" couple on Grey's Anatomy will start off the season with an "I love you, too." Great. Apparently firing all the angry homophobes still doesn't cure the issues the writers of that show have with continuity and character development. Thanks, E!. Now I know. Wow, I just did not know how to handle all that punctuation two sentences ago.
So, here's my diagnosis of what appears to be a network season chock-full of of StupidBangs and a few redemptive IntelligentBangers:
StupidestBang:
Well, look no farther than ABC. They can pretty much always be trusted to fill this category. It was hard to choose from all the stereotypical character-driven feel good crap they have going for them, but I am going to have to go with...Cavemen.
Honestly, I know there are those of you out there who are willing to give this glorified GEICO commercial a chance, but come ON. Just read the description posted on the ABC website:
"Over the last hundred thousand years, mankind has evolved from primitive creatures to sophisticated beings, except for a small minority who unfortunately didn't evolve physically at all. Now three sophisticated cavemen (who already have a fan base from their popular GEICO commercials) are living in modern-day Atlanta, where they are at odds with contemporary society as they struggle to overcome their physical appearance and the accompanying stereotypes."
There is no way this is going to work out. Those stupid commercials are probably the least funny the GEICO marketing team has ever been, yet they won't let it die!! Hey, at least they haven't overplayed it to the point of "Thing X? $20. Thing Y? $87.65. Thing Z? $11. Thing that is intangible and unable to be measured in a dollar amount but occurs based on your ability to go into debt using a MasterCard? Priceless." The cavemen, having not been around for my entire life, have not yet annoyed me quite so much. But, they are making this StupidBang of a TV show and they have never incorporated an elephant and a zookeeper with a cold into any of their commercials (I cried at that one, not gonna lie), so they are working their way to being unforgivably resented and overplayed.
Most Indistinguishable (from each other):
And hey! It's actually not Grey's and Private Practice. I think I will be able to tell those apart when all the funny and interesting characters end up on the spin-off. The winner here has to be Big Shots and Carpoolers.
Both shows are about four men. Both shows emasculate said men by showing just how much they are like women! Oh my gosh, like Sex and the City, but for guys! Except, wait. Sex and the City for guys is Monday Night Football. Because Sex and the City was for girls. For a reason. Anyway, further similarities: both shows are trying too hard to reach the same demographic and they both are going to get cancelled. How can we tell them apart? Well, Carpoolers looks like it might actually be sort of funny and Big Shots is about rich guys. Oh and Dylan McDermott is in it. So, yeah.
Creepy/Intriguing-est
I am torn. I totally watched one of those marathons of Endurance on Discovery Kids. I can get away with it because it is part of my job to work with kids and come up with games and team challenges. So it's research. Honestly, though, it is so entertaining. It's like The Real World without the sex and alcohol. Oh wait, that doesn't sound entertaining at all. But it is, I swear. The next "strand the kids in the middle of nowhere and see what they do" show is Kid Nation. Undeniably, this is an interesting premise. But haven't these people ever read Lord of the Flies? I guess that's probably where they got the idea. Sucks to your asthmar.
Most Intelligently Bangin'
OK, I will go with one show from each member of the Trinity (ABC, NBC, CBS) that got my IB radar beeping:
ABC: Pushing Daisies
There has been a ton of buzz about this show and for good reason. Just read this promo from the ABC website--
"Pushing Daisies is a love story about a pie-baking young man with a very special gift… the ability to return dead people briefly back to life with just a simple touch -- enabling him to help a P.I. crack murder cases by asking victims to name their killers. Director Barry Sonnenfeld, writer-producer Bryan Fuller, and the producers of Big Fish blend romance, crime procedural and high-concept fantasy to create a fairytale in the spirit of Amelie, Stranger than Fiction, and Chocolat. Features a stellar cast."
I'll tell you what. If the same person who wrote this blurb writes the dialogue and comes up with the plot lines, this show just can't fail. Plus, Kristen Chenowith is in it and she is like the fulcrum point of awesomeness. Also, when she was interviewed about the show, she called it "fantasmaborical." That makes me think that the show will be simultaneously diabolical and fantastically orgasmic. Or would it be orgasmically fantastic? I don't know, but I'm excited!!
NBC: Chuck
This must have been what Josh Schwartz was doing during the fourth season of The O.C. But the man who brought us Chrismukkuh seems to have done something right again. The show seems funny and smart, and just like with boyfriends, what more do you need in a man/show? Also, judging by the preview, they seem to delve into the ever-relevant topic of nerd vs. geek definitions and that just turns me on.
CBS: Moonlight
I seriously do not watch any shows on CBS. Not one. But looking at their fall lineup, they are either really good at making crappy shows sound interesting, or they hired some new execs because I am intrigued. Moonlight was the show I finally settled on as having the most potential, but that might just be because I am a big dork and I will watch pretty much anything about vampires. I am not even joking when I tell you that my alarm clock is Buffy re-runs coming on at 7 every weekday morning. It's literally the only thing that wakes me up anymore. Moonlight sounds more like Angel than Buffy, but maybe more like the latter in that it could be a career launcher as opposed to "a job for people who used to be on Buffy (and no, SMG won't guest star. She thinks your neck is too wide, David Boreanaz...and vampires don't age. You're fired.)"
My only beef with Moonlight is that in this show, vampires can't die via wooden stakes. That is like, vampire fiction heresy. They just pissed off their whole demographic and most importantly, the people who would have stopped by their booth at Comic-Con.
So, we'll see. I could be completely wrong about this. I never would have guessed that The Hills would appeal to me on so many levels, but guess what? The New York Times merits it with an "undertow of gravitas" and call LC's dialogue "Austenian" so I feel validated in more ways than one.
I'm totally sitting here watching the E! special on fall TV shows and honestly, it has just annoyed me into writing my own preview of the season. Apparently, a "much contested" couple on Grey's Anatomy will start off the season with an "I love you, too." Great. Apparently firing all the angry homophobes still doesn't cure the issues the writers of that show have with continuity and character development. Thanks, E!. Now I know. Wow, I just did not know how to handle all that punctuation two sentences ago.
So, here's my diagnosis of what appears to be a network season chock-full of of StupidBangs and a few redemptive IntelligentBangers:
StupidestBang:
Well, look no farther than ABC. They can pretty much always be trusted to fill this category. It was hard to choose from all the stereotypical character-driven feel good crap they have going for them, but I am going to have to go with...Cavemen.
Honestly, I know there are those of you out there who are willing to give this glorified GEICO commercial a chance, but come ON. Just read the description posted on the ABC website:
"Over the last hundred thousand years, mankind has evolved from primitive creatures to sophisticated beings, except for a small minority who unfortunately didn't evolve physically at all. Now three sophisticated cavemen (who already have a fan base from their popular GEICO commercials) are living in modern-day Atlanta, where they are at odds with contemporary society as they struggle to overcome their physical appearance and the accompanying stereotypes."
There is no way this is going to work out. Those stupid commercials are probably the least funny the GEICO marketing team has ever been, yet they won't let it die!! Hey, at least they haven't overplayed it to the point of "Thing X? $20. Thing Y? $87.65. Thing Z? $11. Thing that is intangible and unable to be measured in a dollar amount but occurs based on your ability to go into debt using a MasterCard? Priceless." The cavemen, having not been around for my entire life, have not yet annoyed me quite so much. But, they are making this StupidBang of a TV show and they have never incorporated an elephant and a zookeeper with a cold into any of their commercials (I cried at that one, not gonna lie), so they are working their way to being unforgivably resented and overplayed.
Most Indistinguishable (from each other):
And hey! It's actually not Grey's and Private Practice. I think I will be able to tell those apart when all the funny and interesting characters end up on the spin-off. The winner here has to be Big Shots and Carpoolers.
Both shows are about four men. Both shows emasculate said men by showing just how much they are like women! Oh my gosh, like Sex and the City, but for guys! Except, wait. Sex and the City for guys is Monday Night Football. Because Sex and the City was for girls. For a reason. Anyway, further similarities: both shows are trying too hard to reach the same demographic and they both are going to get cancelled. How can we tell them apart? Well, Carpoolers looks like it might actually be sort of funny and Big Shots is about rich guys. Oh and Dylan McDermott is in it. So, yeah.
Creepy/Intriguing-est
I am torn. I totally watched one of those marathons of Endurance on Discovery Kids. I can get away with it because it is part of my job to work with kids and come up with games and team challenges. So it's research. Honestly, though, it is so entertaining. It's like The Real World without the sex and alcohol. Oh wait, that doesn't sound entertaining at all. But it is, I swear. The next "strand the kids in the middle of nowhere and see what they do" show is Kid Nation. Undeniably, this is an interesting premise. But haven't these people ever read Lord of the Flies? I guess that's probably where they got the idea. Sucks to your asthmar.
Most Intelligently Bangin'
OK, I will go with one show from each member of the Trinity (ABC, NBC, CBS) that got my IB radar beeping:
ABC: Pushing Daisies
There has been a ton of buzz about this show and for good reason. Just read this promo from the ABC website--
"Pushing Daisies is a love story about a pie-baking young man with a very special gift… the ability to return dead people briefly back to life with just a simple touch -- enabling him to help a P.I. crack murder cases by asking victims to name their killers. Director Barry Sonnenfeld, writer-producer Bryan Fuller, and the producers of Big Fish blend romance, crime procedural and high-concept fantasy to create a fairytale in the spirit of Amelie, Stranger than Fiction, and Chocolat. Features a stellar cast."
I'll tell you what. If the same person who wrote this blurb writes the dialogue and comes up with the plot lines, this show just can't fail. Plus, Kristen Chenowith is in it and she is like the fulcrum point of awesomeness. Also, when she was interviewed about the show, she called it "fantasmaborical." That makes me think that the show will be simultaneously diabolical and fantastically orgasmic. Or would it be orgasmically fantastic? I don't know, but I'm excited!!
NBC: Chuck
This must have been what Josh Schwartz was doing during the fourth season of The O.C. But the man who brought us Chrismukkuh seems to have done something right again. The show seems funny and smart, and just like with boyfriends, what more do you need in a man/show? Also, judging by the preview, they seem to delve into the ever-relevant topic of nerd vs. geek definitions and that just turns me on.
CBS: Moonlight
I seriously do not watch any shows on CBS. Not one. But looking at their fall lineup, they are either really good at making crappy shows sound interesting, or they hired some new execs because I am intrigued. Moonlight was the show I finally settled on as having the most potential, but that might just be because I am a big dork and I will watch pretty much anything about vampires. I am not even joking when I tell you that my alarm clock is Buffy re-runs coming on at 7 every weekday morning. It's literally the only thing that wakes me up anymore. Moonlight sounds more like Angel than Buffy, but maybe more like the latter in that it could be a career launcher as opposed to "a job for people who used to be on Buffy (and no, SMG won't guest star. She thinks your neck is too wide, David Boreanaz...and vampires don't age. You're fired.)"
My only beef with Moonlight is that in this show, vampires can't die via wooden stakes. That is like, vampire fiction heresy. They just pissed off their whole demographic and most importantly, the people who would have stopped by their booth at Comic-Con.
So, we'll see. I could be completely wrong about this. I never would have guessed that The Hills would appeal to me on so many levels, but guess what? The New York Times merits it with an "undertow of gravitas" and call LC's dialogue "Austenian" so I feel validated in more ways than one.
Posts
4 comments:
What about ABC's 'Dirty Sexy Money' or 'Hot Sexy Money' or 'Dirty Hot Sexy Money'....isn't that worthy of some critique?
Eh, it didn't stand out to me, aside from it's horrible, adjective-laden title. Then again, maybe you can enlighten me. I did read they have a transsexual character on the show. That could be good, I guess.
From what I remember, Donald Sutherland is on the show, making it worthy of a chance to be great despite what the script might be...
Isn't there a Baldwin in there too?
Post a Comment