Can You Spot the Attempts at Accepting/Understanding a Britney Spears?

You know how sometimes you see drunk people, and you feel like an anthropologist studying an uncivilized culture with rituals and traditions that seem to completely defy logic as well as human nature, and then you remember that one time you and your friends stumbled down the street singing Britney Spear's songs while wearing plastic hats for each one of the Village People roles and mustaches drawn on in Sharpie occasionally screaming "Who wants a mustache?" and making sure no one goes home without doing a pole dance on a streetlight since the girl wearing the Indian Chief hat said that it would be funny?Obviously I meant that figuratively, to demonstrate that sometimes, having an outside perspective can be revealing, and sometimes experiencing something yourself helps you understand other people's situations, and also Indian headdresses are inherently impressive; I'm obviously not one of those annoying bloggers who tries to slip in funny revealing things in order to psuedo-subtly give the impression that I lead an interesting and varied life. I will tell you right now if I wasn't so attractive I would probably have been clubbed to death in order to silence me, much like how chihauhuas are invincible despite being yappy things that shake and pee all the time. Chihuahuas and myself have developed adorableness as a defense mechanism, and have small bladders.

I meant to say, both my mom and 50 Cent discussed and ponder the girl. Her name is now slang for vagina. She is who I sing when I am drunk. She is like an abstract painting worth millions of dollars being publicly displayed in a museum, and some people say its ridiculous: it doesn't look like anything, what's it supposed to be, anyone can make a mess with a bunch of colors and then say "you wouldn't understand" by way of explanation, and, my favorite, "I don't like it and it's not really art since it was all influenced by drugs." Then some people say: it represents sadness/corruption/hunger/beauty/Socialism/if it wasn't for the Bush Administration/the feminine mystique/myself/desire/drugs/penis envy/life itself.

The thing with abstract art is, if its controversial, you know its good. And everyone is right.

Because a painting won't change after its been painted, no matter what people say; it stays the same while the world around it changes.

It would be fascinating to watch a painting trying to comply with what people think about it; I think they had something like that in Harry Potter?

Sorry, I was just watching "Who the F**K is Jackson Pollack?" and I always root for the underdog. (WAY TO GO RHODE ISLAND! THE LITTLEST STATE!)

I'm just saying, the girl is a girl. Not a painting. She's an intelligent bang alright, but thats like saying your best friend is all you could ever ask for in a stepstool. Shes sturdy, supportive, and you can move her all around when you need her. Read more!

Hey MythBusters, can you check something for me?

So, post long overdue. Sorry about that, but it is a time of wedding planning and almost-job-quitting-but-deciding-not-to for me and sometimes you neglect the ones you love. Anyway...I saw that movie that came out a few weeks ago, "Shoot 'Em Up." Don't worry, they are being ironic, but not overly so. There are definitely a lot of people getting shot in this movie. If it weren't for the film's artful awareness of its genre and sublte commentary alluding to that awareness, I would suggest a more apt title might have been "Stab 'Em Through the Brain with a Carrot", which is what Clive Owens did about eleven times in this movie.

I have read a few unfavorable reviews of this film (actually, just one, I get my movie reviews on NPR for the most part, because I am just a liberal snob like that) that seemed to think that Clive Owens and Paul Giammati should be ashamed of themselves for being in such a primitive and unintelligent film. But I am going to have to disagree. The title alone tipped me off that this movie was not going to be a mere violence orgy (although it was a violence orgy and at one point there was a violence orgasm, which was kind of weird and funny at the same time). No, I thought this movie was just kitch enough to make the joke, but shoot 'em up enough to have mass appeal. The plot was weak at points, but then again, what movie in this genre has a storyline as tight as my abs? None, is the answer we are looking for here. My only real issue: can you really kill someone by stabbing them in the face with a carrot? I thought it was a great shtick for the brooding antihero to always be munching on organic orange vegetables, but I couldn't help but wonder (Carrie Bradshaw style) if a carrot can really disembowel my brain. Read more!